Why is communication so difficult?
Every day, watching her daughter’s face talking and speaking, the parents lamented raising children like walking on thin ice. “I am eager to communicate with my child in harmony, but the child is simply not willing to communicate with me.
“Yesterday, a parent named Wu in Qingshan District told reporters her distress.
Mr. Wu said that the child talked and laughed with his classmates at school, but when he came home, he changed like a person. He didn’t like to talk or laugh. The focus was only on TV.
Mr. Wu said that his daughter is in the second year of school. From childhood to old age, parents have tried their best to place a relaxed home education environment for her daughter, never forcing her to go to off-school tutoring classes, or even let her watch the TV on the Internet at home, as long as the child ‘s intention,She just has to finish her homework.
After his daughter entered junior high school, Mr. Wu felt that the child’s study pressure was too great, and he dare not ask the child any more.
“Every day I look at my daughter’s face and speak and act.
Mr. Wu said that sometimes when parents eat, parents never ask their children about their studies because they are afraid of affecting their children’s appetite.
After waiting for the child to finish the homework after finishing the meal, as soon as he spoke, the child slammed over and said, “Are you annoying? 1 Mr. Wu said that he was uncomfortable, but he did not dare to criticize his daughter, for fear of heavy influence will affectChildren’s mood and personality development.
“Raising a child is like walking on thin ice!
Mr. Wu lamented.
In this regard, Cheng Liangzhang, a famous teacher in Wuhan and a senior teacher at Jiangxia No.1 Middle School, pointed out that the “fault” of communication between middle school students and parents is a common phenomenon.
He analyzed two possible reasons: First, there was overlap in parent-child communication, too much affection and restraint on children, and the child’s introverted personality and bad learning habits.
The second is that the child may have recently suffered from learning or other setbacks, and is unwilling to communicate with parents.
Teacher Cheng reminded parents that there are tips for communicating with children: learn about the child’s situation at school, such as contacting the teacher; don’t be too purposeful when talking to the child, do not open the mouth and just “learn”; understand the child’s preferences, and expect the childWhen the mood is good, talk to the child’s interest topic.
(39 Health Network) Experts in difficult communication between college students and parents: It is the normal growth of teenagers. Junior Dong, a junior in Northeast Normal University, has not returned home for three consecutive holidays.
“I don’t want to see my parents. Every time I stand on the platform home, it seems to be a torment.
“They didn’t understand me at all, and I didn’t face them.
I feel that I have done nothing for the past 3 years, and I also want to learn, but I have no motivation. Sometimes I do n’t know what to do.
Xiao Dong looked sad: “All I can do is talk to my girlfriend. I think that only she can understand herself and truly communicate with herself.”
Zhang, a student of the School of Arts of Jilin University, rarely communicates with his parents.
对此，他很无奈：“我父母是‘老三届’，当过知青，他们都有那种‘我们吃了苦，不能让孩子再遭罪’的心理，宁肯自己吃苦，也决不让孩子生活得Worse than others.
As soon as I communicated with my parents, they were ‘cold or cold?
‘And other issues.
In addition, I feel that my relationship with my parents is only ‘material’.
“Like Xiao Dong and Xiao Zhang, reporters found in interviews that many college students said that” difficult to communicate with their parents. ”
According to reports, in March this year, the Shanghai Psychological Counseling Center conducted a survey among the major college students in the city, and the results showed that about 69% of college students felt unable to communicate and communicate with their parents, of which 27% saidNever communicate with parents.
Coincidentally, there was also a message from the chairman’s forum of the second Shanghai Key (Exemplary) Middle School Student Union that was antique recently. “There are obvious communication barriers between contemporary youth and their parents.” 63% of high school students think that they can only speak to themselves.And classmates said that only 21 with parents.
It seems that it is difficult for college students to communicate with their parents because they “lay the foundation” in high school.
Some people think that high school students who are in the rebellious period are prone to communication barriers in the face of college entrance examination pressures and strict requirements for parents to change their academic performance, and college students’ physiology and psychology have approached or reached maturity. Communication with parents should be smoother than high school students.
But the reality is not absolutely the same. During the interview, the reporter found that many college students still have a kind of resistance or awe to their parents. Most of them are opposed to the parent’s education, and it is difficult to tolerate “parents’ incomprehension”.
“Adolescence always has a certain kind of agitation. When it comes to acquiring sexual knowledge, I usually want to talk to my parents more, but when I mention this, parents feel uncomfortable and sometimes they scold loudly.
Xiao Zhao, a student of management, told reporters that his parents often made him speechless with such words as “young age, always thinking about crooked”, so that he simply did not say.
Sun Sun of Northeast Normal University, both parents laid off, have to worry about livelihood every day, every time I call, is to ask whether the study is good, the tuition is enough.
“I also know that they have no time to take care of my feelings. What else can I say?
Having said so much, hasn’t it added a psychological burden to them?
Gradually, I felt separated from my parents.
“As the pace of work continues to accelerate and the pressure for competition increases, many parents have to devote more time and energy to work.Ms. Li, who lives in Changchun, told reporters that due to her busy work, she hired a babysitter when the child was very young.
She always felt that she had given her children a lot more than her children of the same age, but she found that the gap between her and her children was gradually escalating. She felt very confused and wanted to change, but could not help it.
College students are reluctant to communicate with their parents for their own reasons.
Liu, a sophomore at Changchun University, told reporters: “There are many things in the university, but I found the goal of life. I was very depressed, and I was not in the mood to talk to my parents.
“Xiao Zhang, who studied law, also frowned:” After going to college, I started to join many societies, and gradually gave up. Later, I was busy dealing with various grades, exams, and rarely mingled with my family.
One is that they have few words at all, and at least humming, and it is not necessary to let them know about my situation, instead they will worry about them.
Qi students from the computer major of Jilin University said: “I’m interested, they don’t understand; what they say is always trivial matters of mother-in-law, I don’t want to listen.
“Because there was too little communication with their parents, some students admitted that they had gone through a detour.
Mr. Li from Changchun University of Science and Technology said, “After going to college, I was far away from my parents. I felt very lonely and depressed. I played games, chat, and watched movies.
If you talk to your parents more and more, this may not be the case.
“Exchange” Exchange is two-way and requires two efforts.
Director of the Psychological Association of Jilin Province, Professor Li Xiaodong of the School of Educational Science, Northeast Normal University, said that after entering the university, students ‘psychology will change greatly, there will be gaps caused by academic performance, loneliness caused by unfamiliar environment, and lack ofThe loss of communicative ability, especially at this stage, requires the inner support of parents, but some parents ignore it.
In addition, most college students now grow up in an environment of “high scores”, lack of concern and understanding of their parents, and often deal with the issues of communication with their parents, often centered on individuals, causing communication difficulties between the two generations.
”It should be said that in the puberty between the ages of 15 and 22, distance from parents shows indifference to them, which is a normal manifestation of adolescent growth.
College students who are adolescents also need to rearrange themselves to think independently, to find and discover themselves.
Teacher Yang Shuqin of the Institute of Higher Education of Jilin University believes that for college students, to cultivate a good personality and establish a good family relationship, they should also actively find time to chat with their parents and experience the joy of communication.